Kevin Alan Wells

“So…are we in a serious relationship here?”

The next uttered syllable will send either stimulants or depressants shooting through someone’s veins for the next several days. It’s an important moment, one that requires important preparation.

A DTR only works when both people involved understand what they mean by the words ’serious relationship.’ The couple must mutually agree on an understood definition. Otherwise, the frequent result is unspoken expectations that lead to loudly spoken disappointments. So before you sit down to a DTR, sit down to a DTT—a Define The Term.

Here’s mine:

A serious relationship is a relationship that goes beyond oneself, where being together is about more than just sexual fulfillment and avoidance of loneliness. We’re teaming up with each other, building something better than either of us could build alone. And despite all the work and frustration involved, there’s still no one else in the world I’d rather be building with.

The only way it can work is for both people involved to give their commitment, honesty, and communication, and for there to be a clear understanding of what the two people are working together to build. There’s a lot of things in this world that we have to settle for. A flaky partner isn’t one of them.

Marriage is the ultimate serious relationship. You stand at the front of a room full of witnesses and vow to God that from this moment forward you commit your life to building with the person standing next to you. Scary! But I personally know several couples doing it quite well so far. So there’s hope.

Anyone else want to add to this? Comment below.